The Importance of Relationships

I recently started reading the book, "Beyond the White Noise" by Tom Montgomery-Fate. The book was given to all six of us journeying to Malaysia by the ELCA. The author writes about his experience as a missionary in the Philippines, where Christianity is not the main religion, similar to Malaysia. So far I am really enjoying the book and would like to share an excerpt with you.

"Do not depend on the hope of results... the big results are not in your hands or mine... they suddenly happen and we can share in them; but there is no point in building our lives on this personal satisfaction, which may be denied us and which after all is not that important... In the end it is the reality of personal relationships that saves everything." quoted in the book by Thomas Merton. The author continues, "Merton suggests a different focus: that our task as missionaries (and as human beings), is not to impose, but to share- both the risks and joys of the host culture- to realize that "human relationships save everything."

I found this passage to be a very important reminder as to what my time here is all about.  As somebody quite focused on results, this brought the issue to the front of my mind and made me realize it is something I need to work on through out the year: less on the outcome and results and more on the people and relationships. Although, I do hope to see results, and I feel I can't help that as I am teaching the children and am responsible for their progress learning, the more important part is the relationships I form. Being here in Sabah to teach kindergartners English is just a stepping stone to building these relationships; to learning about the culture through the people I meet and simply listening and letting them teach me.

Only about two and a half weeks have passed since I've arrived and I've already begun to build these relationships, and I have done my best to listen and absorb the information that has been shared with me. I've been overcome with gratitude for the warm welcome we've received and the amount of hard work and planning that has gone into our life here in Malaysia. Everyone has been going out of their way to make sure we are comfortable, happy and understanding the new culture we're surrounded by. 

During our first week here, we went to a pot luck dinner hosted by Pastor Laura (country coordinator). Everyone who was part of the planning to bring us here attended the dinner, such as our bosses, BCCM (Basel Christian Church of Malaysia) pastors and more. It was a wonderful experience getting the chance to sit down and talk with everyone who had put so much work into our life here and had heard so much about us. After dinner they had a brief meeting to discuss the next few weeks for us. This was one of the most defining moments I've had thus far in my time here in Malaysia. It was so moving to sit and observe as they discussed each of us and showed all of the work they had put in and were going to continue to put in through out the year. I suddenly felt as though I was more of a burden than a help. There is no way I would be here right now, in a place that's beginning to feel like a home, with out these people and their daily efforts to assist us. It was a pure example of the people here teaching me and again reminding me of the purpose that they are here to serve me just as much as I am here to serve them. I could simply feel how passionate they are about this program, how committed to it they are and how much they want it to work. 

I am gradually beginning to build my family here and am very pleased with the relationships I've begun thus far. I look forward to seeing where the year leads my relationships and to watch as my family here grows.

***The picture is of me with Madam Ha (pronounced Madam Ho) and George. They are the owners of the apartment building we live in and they live two floors above us. They have quickly become our host family and are like parents to us. They always seem to have us in mind, stopping by with treats or taking us to run errands and buy local fruit. They often take us out for dinner to introduce us to new foods. Madam Ha will be teaching us Chinese through out the year. On Wednesday (no school, public holiday), I believe we are going out to the country to see George's durian (smelly fruit) farm. Much more to come on them later.